Be Where You Are
Yesterday was a weird day. I woke up in a funk, immediately feeling regret for staying up much too late the night before. Blame it on The Bachelor, k? That show hooks me in like no other and the episodes are so long that I end up being glued to my screen (and the drama is unreal this season!). I knew, as I was sitting there consumed by the show, that I would pay for it in the morning. And I did. I woke up exhausted, grumpy and falling in and out of sleep as I begrudgingly tried to get myself out of bed. And then it all spiraled. That feeling didn’t leave me all day, and I lacked the one thing I value the most as a small business owner: motivation.
We all have kind of an odd relationship with motivation. We spend our lives chasing it. And yet, we won’t accept that it’s something that will never be ours to own permanently. And that instead, it’s something that comes and goes and highly depends on many, many external and internal factors.
So let me get right to the point. Because we all need to hear this. This is not a post that contains tips and steps you can take to feel motivated or more energized. I’ve been there and done that (peep that post here). No, this is a note to you about motivation. This is the note you need to read when you are lacking motivation or focus and you are sitting there paralyzed by it because you’re trying to force it. When you know deep down in the depths of your soul that you need to take a break and let yourself off the hook.
This post…is permission.
Permission to be where you are.
We all want constant motivation and focus. We want a secret recipe that it seems like everyone else has. And we want it all the time. But the truth is, no one has access to that all the time. We don’t see every moment of every single person’s life. We don’t see when their motivation and inspiration runs dry and they too are left annoyed and frustrated. Because who really wants to share that? (And that’s part of the problem - we need to share these real moments much more often. But I’ll save that for another post). So if you are feeling this way, I just want to tell you that it’s okay to feel like this AND it’s completely normal. It’s okay to feel tired, run down, uninspired or unmotivated. It’s very, very natural.
Instead of pushing and forcing yourself to magically produce motivation out of nowhere, it’s time to let your foot off the gas for a bit. Let yourself slow down. Yes, you may have things you need to get done today (perhaps it’s job related or it’s in your personal life), and there’s not much you can change about that. But what you can do, is stop doing the things that you don’t absolutely need to do. And yes, there are things that you don’t need to do. You might be trying to convince yourself that you have to do everything you set out to do, but you don’t. Trust me.
I am giving you permission to take a step back and rest.
Read that again.
Stop doing what doesn’t need to be done. Stop forcing yourself to be motivated and to keep up. Listen to your body’s cues. There is no point pushing yourself beyond your limits, just to prove that you can do what you set out to do. Because what happens is, that “lack of motivation” then spills over into the next day and the next, etc. until you’re in a motivation rut and you don’t know how you got there or how to get out.
You may have heard this all before and maybe you’re wondering…how do I do this? How do I just let go? Because it doesn’t feel that easy to just let yourself off the hook when you are in the depths of frustration with yourself. Well, the missing key to all of this is… compassion. And a little bit of reflection.
What would you tell someone you love dearly if they came to you feeling down and frustrated due to a lack of motivation? Surely you would be kind, graceful and have compassion for them. Because you’ve been there. You know how they are feeling. It’s easy for us to hold that space for others. But when it comes to ourselves, we turn into the worst critics. We expect the most from ourselves and we are the most disappointed in ourselves when we can’t reach those (often outrageous) expectations. Treat yourself as you would your most loved one in that moment. Say the things to yourself that you would say to them. Be gentle with yourself. Nourish yourself in whatever ways you need. If you need rest, do that. If you need to be silly, do it. If you need to work off some energy, go do that. Give, give, give. Give yourself whatever you need to feel supported. Hold yourself in the highest regard. Because you are worthy of that. You, are so so special. You deserve to rest and take a break when you decide you need to. Trust that you have put in a lot and it’s ok to let it all go for a bit.
The universe is always sending you nudges. These nudges don’t always come in the ways we think. They often come as challenges. And that is where the reflection comes in. What are you learning right now? What are you learning about yourself? What is this bout of low motivation teaching you? What do you need that you are not giving to yourself? Is it more time to wind down at night, so that you can fit in all the cozy self-care you want before getting a restful sleep? Is it more time to sleep? Is it an earlier wake-up time? Is it better, more nourishing food to sustain you? Is it asking for help? Is it more support? Is it downtime in the middle of the day? Reflect on what you are learning. Hold those things close to you and recognize how much value this time of low motivation is giving you, rather than focusing on everything you feel it is taking from you.
This is how we be where we are. We don’t simply throw our hands up in the air and give up, while still holding on to the anger and frustration at ourselves. We hold our own hearts near, and we give ourselves the grace we need. We offer ourselves compassion. We look at what we are learning.
And then we take a step back.
We care for ourselves.
And then we pick it up again tomorrow.
With fresh eyes and a rejuvenated soul, we try again. And meet ourselves right there. Exactly where we are. Exactly where we are meant to be.
xo,
K.