A Valentine’s Day For You
This is my favourite blog post to write. All about Valentine’s and self-love. It’s something I try to make time for every year. Because it is the very essence of this blog. Love. For yourself. For all of who you are. Every time I sit down and talk about how important self-love and self-care is for Valentine’s Day, the message becomes stronger. Every year it becomes more clear to me. Every year, I feel it deeper in my core.
This year, I want to share my top lessons on self-love with you. I also want to share a few gifts you can get for yourself for Valentine’s Day. Because gifts of love shouldn’t only have to come from a significant other. They can come from you for you as well. Each day is an opportunity to shower yourself with love and appreciation. That is something I never want you to forget. We do not need a particular day to love ourselves. We have the choice to do that every single day. It’ s a choice. And although it may feel difficult at times, it is possible to do. We talk about being compassionate to other beings on this earth, and yet we rarely extend that compassion to ourselves. So let Valentine’s Day be a simple reminder that you are worthy, you are enough and you are loved. And remember, that it is not the only day that you are these things. You are worthy, enough and loved every single day.
SELF-LOVE LESSONS I’ve learned
SELF-LOVE IS A CHOICE YOU CAN CHOOSE EVERYDAY
This was a hard one for me to learn. I used to be so frustrated by my unkind feelings/thoughts towards myself. And while I was in that state, I didn’t believe that self-love was a choice. I thought it was something only lucky people got to experience. People who had what I didn’t have. People who I put on a pedestal because they seemed to have it all figured out. It was only with time, patience and a lot of counseling/self-work that I realized that self-love was a choice. I can choose to love who I am, even if it is different or considered “less acceptable” than other people. Because who determines that anyway?
I still have struggles with it. Sometimes there’s a fine line between dedicating yourself to self-love and being frustrated by it. But I have a much healthier relationship to it and reminding myself that I have choice in the matter goes a long way. Writing and blogging has also helped that a lot too. I feel connected to you, and whether you’re going through the same things as I am or not, knowing that you are here reading these words and maybe even slightly resonating with some of them, means the world to me.
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE AT THE TOP OF YOUR LIST
This was also something that took me a lot of time to learn. I thought I took care of myself, but I slowly realized that I would care for myself after all the other duties I needed to do had been taken care of. I wonder sometimes if we feel like we need to have “accomplished” something before we think there is any value in caring for ourselves. When really, it is the other way around. When you take care of yourself, put your needs first and advocate for your boundaries, that is when you are able to accomplish what you need to. Filling up your cup first in any way that you can will serve you in the long-run. Slow and steady wins the race, right? So instead of rushing through everything so that you maybe will get 5 minutes to yourself at the end of the day, find ways to incorporate self-care into your day. Like a cup of tea, or a break to take a walk, or even simply having a water bottle next to you and drinking water throughout the day. Putting yourself first also means learning how to advocate for yourself, your needs and your boundaries. Because all of that comes from a place of self-love and self-trust.
YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOURSELF WILL CONSTANTLY CHANGE
You will evolve. That is completely natural. You won’t be the same person tomorrow/next month/next year as you are today. And the same goes for the past. You are not the same person you were. You are in constant evolution. So your relationship to yourself will also change. You may go through seasons where self-love is not on your radar. That is ok. Allow for the evolution. If you don’t feel love for yourself right now, know that you will. Things will change and they will change again and again and again. And that is ok. Self-love is not a destination. You don’t just get there one day and stay there. You evolve with it.
Your self-love has nothing to do with other people
It truly doesn’t. You don’t love yourself only if others love you. This can be a hard one. Because we tie up a lot of our worth in what others think of us and how we come across to other people. Yes, it is much easier to love and accept yourself when you know you’re loved, supported and liked by others. But you don’t actually need that in order to love yourself. And the truth is, you won’t be for everyone. Not everyone will like you no matter how bad you want to please them. Detaching your worthiness and self-love from other people is a huge lesson and one that will always be a work in progress. But it is an important one to work on.
Something else I want to touch on here is comparison. We all compare. We do. There’s no denying it. In some way, we will all experience this at some point. But comparison dampens self-love. Because you’re always focused on what you don’t have instead of what you do have and on what makes you you. It’s easier to dismiss yourself when you’re pining after something someone else has. I think this needs a whole blog post, but the main point is - the longer you engage in the comparison game, the longer it will take you to build your own self-love. You can appreciate what others are doing and how they live their lives, but it shouldn’t dictate your own life. (And hey- don’t worry, I’m still learning this one myself. Slowly, but surely.)
self-love can coexist with many other emotions and feelings
This is something that isn’t talked about often. Every emotion can exist at the same time as the polar opposite emotion exists. You don’t have to feel joy to it’s fullest and only that. Same with other emotions. And same with self-love. You can love yourself and also feel sad, upset, disappointed, frustrated, etc. It’s not an all-or-nothing. It’s a piece of the journey. And in fact, I think it’s actually a gateway to explore other emotions and triggers more deeply.
Self-care and Self-love are not the same thing but they are intertwined
Self-care is a beautiful act of self-love. But you can’t just engage in self-care and call that self-love. Self-love requires a lot of deep work. And self-care is the nourishment your heart and soul need in order to work on loving yourself. It’s like a currency. We often use the two terms interchangeably, and although they are very closely intertwined, they are not the same thing. I always encourage self-care. It’s so important. It’s something that helped me start to learn to love who I was. Because it gives you that time and space to spend with yourself. To spoil yourself. To nourish yourself. To put yourself first. And all of that are seeds for growing self-love.
And this is the perfect segway into my self-care gift list for you!
gifts of self-care for you
Here are some things I LOVE that I want to share with you. These are items you can go get yourself for Valentine’s Day to up your self-care game. And yes, I know it is hard to spoil yourself sometimes. And if you need permission… here it is. Go SPOIL yourself. You deserve it.
And if none of these resonate with you, then don’t buy anything for the sake of buying. Self-love comes from within. These are just things to help you feel supported in your self-care routine, but they are not necessary. Even if you just take away one lesson from this post, that’s all that matters to me.
Facial Steamer
I didn’t know I needed a facial steamer until I knew. You know? If you’ve experienced a facial steam you know what I mean. It’s like going into a salon for a facial, but you can do it in your home. Facial steaming is so hydrating for the skin (necessary when you live in a dry climate), and opens up the pores so all your skincare products can penetrate deeper. The sound of the steam and water is so soothing too. This one linked here is pink and SO cute, but they come in other colors too. And super easy to use.
Book - light is the new black
This is a book I recommend to anyone who is wanting to dive deeper into the world of self-love. And especially if you resonate with the universe, soul-callings and spirituality. This book is everything you need to start listening to yourself and trusting your intuition. It will speak to your soul and opens up a whole new world of self-love that you didn’t even know what possible. Definitely perfect for a Valentine’s gift for yourself (or someone you love).
clay cleanse Face Mask from saje
I love this face mask. It’s the ultimate self-care sunday ritual. I used to make my own clay mask from bentonite clay, apple cider vinegar and water, but it was messy, involved a lot of clean up and honestly I think it wasn’t quite working for my skin because of the apple cider vinegar. But this mask has taken it to the next level. It’s easy to apply, it smells amazing and has some pretty great ingredients. I find it’s great for that weekly skin detox we all need. I usually do a facial steam first, apply this, read a book while it sits and then hop in the shower and remove it + cleanse.
Slippers
I am such a slipper person. My feet are always cold and sensitive to hard flooring, so I like to have socks and slippers on at all times. I always used to buy cheap thin slippers from Ardene’s or Costco, but that changed this year. I was gifted these UGG slippers for my birthday and it has truly changed the game. Now before you dismiss this and say you don’t need fancy slippers for the home, just wait. You need to try these. They are the perfect level of padding (not too much so you don’t feel like a grandma), plushness and warmth. And they are very cute and instagrammable too. Which is a bonus. They are pricey, but you may also be able to find them at a more affordable price at somewhere like Nordstrom Rack.
Mushroom hot chocolate
I know this sounds weird, but hear me out k? Mushrooms have been in the spotlight lately because of the powerful nutrients they contain. There are so many blends out there now that are amazing. Especially mushroom coffee and mushroom hot chocolate. I started drinking this blend about 6 months ago and I absolutely love it. It just tastes like hot chocolate with cinnamon. You can’t taste the mushrooms at all. This is the perfect relaxing blend for the evenings when you want to wind down or if you need something yummy to sip while you watch your favourite show or read a book. I liked to froth a bit of oat milk and add that to it. It’s perfect.
Love from within collection (limited edition, local only)
This is a super special limited edition offering. I have teamed up with another local creator on this valentine’s day collab (Jahaanflows). Together we created a self-care ritual kit that has beautiful handmade products by both our businesses. It contains a chai tea blend (The Homebody Tea), a herbal lip mask (lip love), a special edition satin scrunchie, a face/room mist, a shea face & body butter and lavender incense. We curated this self-care kit so that you can spoil yourself with some sustainable local goodies this Valentine’s Day. There are only 10 available, so message me asap if this is something you want (local to Calgary only). There is also a mini version of this collection, which contains the lip mask, scrunchie, room mist, and incense if you prefer that (main collection is $70.00 and mini collection is $40.00 and these will only be available up until Valentine’s Day).
So there you have it! I hope you have an amazing Valentine’s Day and that you get time to pamper yourself. Maybe it will be a day full of self-care for you. Read a book, watch a show, cuddle up on the couch, do some intention setting or journaling. Maybe do an evening at-home facial. Mmm sounds so good. I can’t wait to do the same! Lots of love.