Listening to Your Body
I don’t think I was good at listening to my own cues when I was younger. I rarely ever vocalized how I was feeling and never really understood the value of actually caring for myself. The result of this was many blow ups, countless phases of intense anxiety, a lot of crying and essentially a whole lot of confusion.
The wellness industry at the time was nothing like what it is now. Self-care was not commonplace and there weren’t a lot of tools/resources out there to help people learn how to tune into themselves. I definitely picked up tips about mental wellness along the way without realizing it, but actually tuning into my body… that didn’t come until much later.
I always thought that maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe I’m not the same as other people and that’s why I feel the way I do. Or I thought that maybe I just ended up with more health issues than other people. When in fact I just didn’t realize everyone had similar feelings/experiences and I didn’t know how to listen to my body and mind and advocate for myself. Instead I would just try to cater to everyone else. Whether it was agreeing to do something I didn’t want to, or pretending I was good at something I wasn’t, or sitting through physical discomfort out of shame and wanting acceptance. I just adjusted. And instead of facing it I would justify, use excuses or cover up my true feelings. Rather than just admitting to myself that:
“This just doesn’t feel good or right for me right now”
or
“I am feeling _____ so I am going to do _____ for myself .”
I think yoga might have been the game-changer for me. I went to my first yoga class alone. It was my first exposure to yoga and it was a hot yoga class. If you have been to a hot yoga class before, you know how intimidating it can be when you are new. Safe to say I was completely terrified and unsure of what to expect. But I still remember sitting in that first class, sweating like crazy, confused as to why it was so hot and wondering if maybe they had the temperature set too high and the whole room was going to explode.
But I felt good. So good. Like I could really show up there. And I did. Over and over. And I slowly learned to tune into the little sensations in my body like the discomfort, the tightness, the uneasiness, the fear, the insecurity, the joy, the excitement, etc. The deep breathing helped. The meditations at the beginning and end of classes helped. The quotes shared by various teachers helped. The constant reminder to check in with yourself and to not do anything that didn’t feel good - that really helped.
Trust me when I say, I had no idea what listening to your body meant. I honestly had never really heard that phrase until I started going to yoga many years ago. But now, I completely get it. In fact, it embodies everything I do now. To me, the utmost important thing to me is to listen to my body and to not have to justify why I am feeling a certain way. I’m definitely still learning to get stronger in my ability to stand my ground when it comes to what serves me and what doesn’t, but I have picked up a thing or two about this topic. So I’m sharing some ways you can listen to your body too. I know this can be really difficult to grasp especially if you have been so used to turning away from what you truly want or feel. Tuning in can feel very unnatural. But every step you take towards connecting to yourself truly pays off. Whether it’s now or later. It will pay off.
ways you can listen to your body
Eat when you are hungry vs. waiting for a more convenient time to eat.
Go to bed when you are tired vs. staying up because others are or staying up because you think you have to complete something before you can sleep.
If you feel pain, tightness or discomfort in your body, bring your attention there instead of shrugging it off or ignoring it. Your body talks to you through pain and discomfort. It is trying to tell you something. Bring your attention to that area and ask yourself: “what might be causing me to feel this right now? Is it my posture? Did I injure myself? Am I pushing myself too hard?” Then ask yourself: “what is one thing I can do right now to help me with this feeling?”
Some examples: Stretching, heating pad or ice pack, movement, exercise, lying down, sleeping, medication/supplement, epsom salt bath, massage, deep breathing, changing position, asking for help, etc.
If you don’t feel like going somewhere or attending something, then don’t. And don’t follow it up with a justification of why. Honour the feeling that you just don’t want to go and let that be enough.
Notice what thoughts come up when someone asks you to take on something or a new project/activity comes your way. If the thoughts are negative and you know that this might be too much to add, then say no. Even if it means you miss out on something and even if it means you upset someone. You need to come first.
Actually go to the bathroom when you feel like you need to. I know this one might be a little TMI - but seriously. Don’t hold it. If you have to go…GO. Find a bathroom. Don’t say you can wait until later, don’t worry about being an inconvenience to someone else, don’t make excuses about why you can’t go right now. Just go. It is not healthy to wait on something like that. You are literally holding toxins in your body, so why would you want to do that? How’s that for a new perspective? :)
What is your mood like? Are you responding to something because you’re upset, sad, frustrated? Are you not feeling like yourself? Or are you feeling really happy/grateful today? Remember that your mood plays a huge part in how you handle daily stressors. Bring attention to how you might truly be feeling underneath your reactions.
If something you are eating doesn’t sit well or you don’t like the taste of it, stop eating it. Don’t force yourself to eat something or finish something because you bought it/someone else bought it/you don’t want to be annoying/you’re embarrassed/any other excuse.
Side note: make note of how you feel after meals. Try and track what might be causing you to feel unwell. Food sensitivities can be a root issue for a lot of people and there are ways to test this out. If you need support with this, let me know.
If something someone said to you hurts you, let it hurt. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes we think that we are being sensitive or we justify what people say to us because maybe they didn’t intend to or it’s from someone who is close to us. If it hurts right now, it hurts. It’s valid and you are allowed to feel that way. And it is ok to be hurt even if someone didn’t mean to hurt you. Feel the hurt and give it space rather than push it away.
Think about your energy levels. It is important to note how high your energy is regularly. Energy will naturally fluctuate but if you find that it is changing a lot or that you are constantly low, then there might be a reason why. It could be related to food, stress, sleep, mood, blood sugars, thyroid concerns, nutrient deficiencies and so much more. Your energy levels can tell you so much about your body. Check in from time to time and rate it on a scale of 1-10 (10= your highest energy).
If you get symptoms of anxiety (eg. racing heart, sweating, shakiness, chest pain/tightness, etc.), stop what you are doing and take a deep breath. Into your belly. Put your hand on your belly and feel it rise and fall. Then do 4-7-8 breathing. Inhale for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts and then exhale for 8 counts. Repeat until you feel a better. Again, ask yourself: “"what might be causing me to feel this way right now?” And even if you can’t come up with something, don’t worry about it. Asking yourself is still a way to connect to the body.
Side note: don’t be afraid to seek support. Although tools are extremely helpful, you don’t have to experience anxiety alone. Seek out support from your family or friends or even a counsellor. It can truly make a difference. It is an outlet for the body and can allow emotions to move through you rather than become stagnant and build up.
Listen to your cravings. Cravings happen for a reason. It’s the most obvious way our bodies can get our attention. There’s nothing wrong with giving in to cravings. As long as you are aware of them, monitoring them and it isn’t happening all the time. What’s even more important is understanding your cravings. Are you constantly craving something sweet? Do you always crave something at the same time of day? What flavour are you craving? Do you crave something sweet after something salty or vice versa? Cravings tap into the deep wisdom of our bodies. They can give us as practitioners so much information about a patient and can tell us a lot about the constitution of a person. It is important to seek out a healthcare practitioner if you want to learn more about your cravings.
Judgment - we all have judgments. Catch yourself the next time you pass a judgment. Whether it is about yourself or another person. Stop and think about why you may have that judgment. Are you jealous about something? Do you admire something? Is your judgment related to how you feel about yourself? Are you not feeling great today and it’s coming out in other ways? Just notice these thoughts. Often thoughts like this come and go without us consciously realizing it. Why put that energy out there? It’s only going to drain you. Tip: The next time you notice yourself judging someone or yourself, acknowledge it, consider where it may have come from and instead of beating yourself up or getting annoyed, come up with one positive thought about that person or yourself. The positive will neutralize the negative.
What are some ways you like to listen to your body? Comment below :)