3 Tips for When You Feel Overwhelmed
I love mornings like this. The house is quiet. The heater is on. I’ve read my book, washed my face, crept downstairs for some hot water, and gotten back into bed with my laptop to write. Oh, and I’ve also put on Netflix Fireplace, which is my current favourite thing. It’s so calming (sounds silly, but really!). If you haven’t tried this, I highly recommend it.
My mornings don’t always start this way. I try my best to set things up the way I want so that I have the best chance at a good day. But sometimes (a lot of times), I wake up and immediately start scrolling on my phone. Or I feel a rush of panic and anxiety. Or I start going through my to-do list for the day. Or I wake up from my alarm feeling disoriented and off. Sometimes, I just wake up and I am instantly overwhelmed for no reason at all.
It’s frustrating to start the day like that. You go to sleep hopeful for what the next day will bring, but then you feel let down by your own emotions. Like you are constantly in battle with yourself. I know I am not alone in this. I’ve talked to many people who often have the same feelings when they wake up. And oftentimes, there’s literally no reason to wake up feeling intense emotions like overwhelm, sadness, frustration, anxiety, etc. So what do we do when we feel this way? What do we do when the morning routine and all the self-care intentions doesn’t have the impact we want? What do we do when we are overwhelmed by all of it?
Here are three things that may help you if you feel overwhelmed.
+ set realistic expectations
I find that the root of overwhelm is often too many expectations. We think that we will wake up and feel motivated and be in the best mood. And that everything will go the way we want it to AND we will also get all 20 things on our list done. Sounds amazing, but it is never that way. It’s just unrealistic. Life happens. Things come up. There will always be things we are unprepared for. Moods change. Motivation ebbs and flows.
Instead of expecting yourself to be the most productive and motivated person every day, it’s better to set realistic expectations for yourself so you actually have a chance at feeling accomplished and there’s less room for overwhelm to show up. Instead of 20 things, write down the top 3 things you need to get done. It seems like much less, but doesn’t that sound much more doable? And then if extra gets done, it’s just a bonus. And instead of expecting to wake up in a productive and motivated mood, just simply expect to work with whatever comes up for you in the morning. Leave room for your emotions and remind yourself that you are in control of you day. If you need a minute to regroup or you need to adjust your day to accommodate how you are feeling then that is ok.
+ Self Compassion
Self compassion is usually a missing piece when we talk about self-care and self-love. When we feel overwhelmed, it can be easy to put ourselves down or speak negatively about ourselves and then rush to try and “fix” it. Sometimes we need a moment to be there for ourselves. To sit with it and tell ourselves that it’s ok to feel the way we do. To feel through the emotion and be kind to ourselves for having it. This goes a long way. We can physically remove ourselves from the situation and take a moment to connect with ourselves through self-care practices and then remind ourselves that we are human. And that we are simply doing the best we can.
+ Take things one step at a time
Recently, I’ve started out on a business venture that I’ve been thinking about for years. I was too afraid to take a step towards it for so long because it felt too overwhelming and I never knew how I was going to get to where I wanted to be. Until finally, I just decided to take a step. A small one. A teeny tiny one in the right direction. And since then, the next step has just shown itself to me. I haven’t really felt like I don’t know what I need to do, because it has just flowed on it’s own. Yes, there have been challenges, but I’m not as overwhelmed by the whole endeavour. I was so scared of not knowing what to do, when all I needed to do was take one step.
This has been the most valuable thing for me to learn. Instead of taking on things in huge chunks, it’s so much more manageable when you only look one step ahead. Focus on that one thing and then you will see what naturally comes next. I promise you things become a lot more clear when you start. Of course, it’s good to have a big picture idea but it’s more important to follow that up by going back and starting somewhere small and building your way there. Before you know it, you will have accomplished much more that you thought was possible. This works not only for huge projects, but even for your daily to-do list. One baby step at at a time.
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I hope these tips help you in some way. I know sometimes it feels like there is no way out when you feel overwhelmed. But try and break it down and do what you realistically can to set yourself up for success. And remember, you are just human. You don’t need to be superhuman. And your needs are always important no matter what.
xo.